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This is a draft which is subject to revisions.
Recommended for ages 13+.
The following is a work of fiction. All names, characters, incidents, and places are either the product of the authors' imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, business enterprises, or locales is entirely coincidental.
They say a mirror reflects one’s true image. Tears welled down my sanguine eyes, distorting my furious reflection.
It’s written that a man will be judged not only for his sins, but also for his innermost thoughts. God, the ultimate judge, esteems a person for what lies deep within their heart and not by their image. The malice festering within my heart was beyond reproach and not even holy water could purge this abomination. Perhaps, my fate had already been sealed.
They say that all good and evil evolves from thoughts. The same damn thought was consuming me day in and day out. Has any hideous thought ever crossed your mind? Being a religious person I should’ve felt deeply troubled, but instead I felt no remorse whatsoever. This enigma was further compounded by the fact that I had been taught from an early age to be forgiving, and simply look the other way. But, that fine line which people always refer to, had not only been crossed, but obliterated. There was only one way to rectify the grievous injustice that I had suffered. Has any tragedy ever turned your entire world upside down?
Even though the physical act hadn’t occurred yet, it was now only a matter of time. And only God knows when this day would come to pass. This one heinous act could condemn me for eternity. It was justice that I sought, although my conscience menaced this position, convincing me that I wanted revenge. Do you believe that justice is representative of ‘an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth’?
Years ago, tragedy tore my whole world apart. If only you could’ve witnessed the countless tears that I shed, the agony which haunted me day after day, not to mention the desolation sewn into my heart, all of which tormented me to the brink of madness. My only consolation was being drugged to the point of stupefaction. The countless meetings with my therapist were agonizingly painful, forcing me to relive that God forsaken day, over and over again. Often it became unclear whether the event embedded in my mind was reality or a perverse hallucination determined to conquer my sanity. I stared ahead blankly, day after day, until my eyes felt affixed in an embalmed state. Every waking moment tore my heart to pieces. You’d think that a good night’s sleep would offer some relief. Well, think again.
Terror, terror beseeched me during the night,
At my frantic screaming and panting it took great delight,
Bone-chilling images pierced my mind,
Clothes drenched profusely I often did find,
My heart pounded heavily from these dreadful reveries,
Then, I remained frozen for some time as it brought forth undesired memories.
The pressure has been steadily augmenting since the day of revelation, without any means of venting. I couldn’t confide in a therapist, because the doctor/patient confidentiality privilege wouldn’t apply, since the event hadn’t occurred yet. For that same reason, I couldn’t even confide in a priest during confession. There wasn’t a single soul that I could trust; otherwise it would be game over. The sooner the event came to pass, the sooner I would find some inner peace.
Will you at least hear my story? Perhaps this request will fall upon deaf ears. Maybe you’ll agree that I had the right to vindicate myself, or maybe you’ll be quick to condemn me. Whatever your decision, I hope you’ll understand the series of events which led me to commit this atrocity.
What ill thoughts you do conceive,
Such wickedness causes you to bereave,
Desolation from your loss causes you to be blind,
Unspeakable abominations further cloud your mind,
Pressure steadily augments, with no facets to unwind,
Anger escalates, causing your blood to boil and teeth to grind,
Logic or reason you shall not find,
Causing revenge and justice to become intertwined,
Great sorrow shadows your heart,
Consolation is futile, not allowing your grievances to part,
Precious memories bring forth many tears,
Despite the healing process and passing of many years,
Joy and pain bemuses the brain,
No closure causes your heart further pain,
More bloodshed will bring forth no gain,
But perhaps this is the only remedy to lessen your pain.
Street lights flicker in the dark,
A pale moonlight looks solemn and stark,
Stars upon stars decorate the sky,
Although, silence is the only friend coming by,
A meteorite shoots across the horizon in a flash,
Its memory quickly disintegrates like ash,
Shadows dancing on a hill,
The mind conjures what it will,
In a lonely heart emptiness resides,
In the brain, rivet after pounding rivet drives,
Finally, the moment of truth is at hand,
Oh, what will be the chorus for the marching band?
If you play with fire, you’re bound to get burned. If you play with a charging bull, you’re bound to get impaled. If you play Russian roulette one too many times, you’ve just signed your own death certificate.